3 days in england

view from the passenger side
england, july 2015

the reality

The dank, dark, dismal, overcrowded reality

We had a couple of sunny days in May, someone told me.

it's bad
enough. It's raining. It's 17º. This is summer. This is the best it's gonna get. The people look worse than the state of the roads. There is no pride left. Everyone looks a mess. Me included of course.

eating out
If I ask for bread with my meal, if I ask for oil for my salad, if I ask for the code for the wifi, please don't treat me as though you've no idea what I'm talking about. I tried hard. I said it in your language. I asked politely.  It isn't an item on the menu, no. I can see that for myself. I should not however have to explain the term 'bread'. I should not have to give the example that you use it for other items on your badly written menu including 'camanber melt'. Yes. I can now see the rules and regulations of your restaurant. Printed in bold at the top of the same. You've pointed at them and said, 'this is what you have to do'. Is this really what your punters want? None of them seem happy.

I am sorry I did not understand that I had to go to the appointed 'food hatch' to order food. I am sorry I did not understand that the 'bar queuing system' to order a drink was in a different place. I was not trying to push in when I went to what looked like a bar from which one could avail oneself of a drink. I did not expect to have to be aware of an airport check-in-like queuing system to await my turn to be served. If the wifi isn't working, just say so. It doesn't matter.

Please just be clear. Let's face it, when I first saw 'restaurant' I though you'd allocate me a table and then come over and ask what I'd like to eat. How wrong could I have been!

Then, when I finally do get something to eat and drink, without bread, oil nor wifi, please just go away. It's been enough of a turmoil getting this far in the first place. If I finish something please do not pounce immediately upon me and remove the plate from beneath my still poised hands.

Did you check what those buy-one-get-one-free leggings looked like? In a mirror? Before you came to work? From all angles?


When the third different girl came over and asked me if everything was OK, I lied.

I had expected to be treated politely and in a dignified manner. If there is a sign that indicates 'wifi zone', then I'd expect that if I could read the sign, I could reasonably expect wifi. If as seems the case there never has been wifi, then maybe remove the sign?

1. This may explain this.
2. One does not understand the term humility until one has earned the courage to make amends.